Navigating Physical Boundaries

Just keep it pure.

Just keep it pure.

Don’t do anything that would cause you to stumble.

Don’t do anything that would cause you to stumble.

It’s about your heart, not just actions.

It’s about your heart, not just actions.

You’ll know when you’ve gone too far.

You’ll know when you’ve gone too far.

Are you tired of
unhelpful or cliche answers?

As long as you're not having sex, everything's fine.

As long as you're not having sex, everything's fine.

If you truly love each other, physical boundaries won’t be an issue.

If you truly love each other, physical boundaries won’t be an issue.

You’re overthinking it—just go with the flow.

You’re overthinking it—just go with the flow.

Physical boundaries are just cultural. The Bible doesn’t say much about them.

Physical boundaries are just cultural. The Bible doesn’t say much about them.

Just avoid kissing, and you'll be fine.

Just avoid kissing, and you'll be fine.

You can always stop before it gets too far.

You can always stop before it gets too far.

If you’re both comfortable, it’s okay.

If you’re both comfortable, it’s okay.

Everyone wants to know

Where do you draw

the line?

But, what if we’re asking the wrong question?

how do we use physical intimacy
to intentionally build our long term relationship,

What if we focused on

honoring God, ourselves, and being honest in the process?

Have you ever
wondered?

How far is too far in dating and relationships?

Why do physical boundaries even matter?

What if I’ve already gone too far—can I start over? Does it even matter?

How can I balance freedom and self-control without feeling restricted?

How do I communicate my boundaries to someone I’m dating?

How do I handle sexual attraction in a God-honoring way while dating?

We need real answers,

that work on a Friday night, not just a Sunday morning.

"How Far Is Too Far" is a down-to-earth guide for anyone figuring out relationships, dating, and intimacy. Instead of just asking, "How far is too far?" it shifts the focus to "What do I want out of this, and how do I get there?" With practical advice, real-life stories, and tools that actually work, this book helps you set boundaries that protect your heart, build trust, and create deeper connections. Whether you’re single, dating, or thinking about marriage, it’s all about approaching relationships with purpose and confidence—without any shame or fear. It’s not just a list of rules; it’s a guide to building healthy, fulfilling relationships.

See The Journey We’ll Take

  • 1. The Wrong Question

    We’ve been approaching this conversation the wrong way. We’ve been asking where’s the line, what can or can’t we do. We’ve been focusing on avoiding a negative rather than building a positive. What if we reframed it in the form of our goals?

  • 2. Bonding The Right Way

    We’re made to bond and connect with people in friendship and romantic relationships. Most of us don’t realize how we bond so that we can learn to bond with the right person, in the right time, the right way.

  • 3. Where's The Line?

    The question everyone asks. Where is the line when it comes to physical boundaries? Let me walk you through your goals, your process and come up with a plan on how to execute it.

  • 4. Holding The Line

    This is where we get practical—really practical. I’ll be really honest with my process and the weak areas I see many people struggle with, and we’ll make a plan to set you up for success.

  • 5. Internally Strong & True

    External boundaries are helpful, but internal guides last and develop the character you’ll want. We’ll look at how to become internally steadfast and the lies that we tell ourselves.

  • 6. Engagement Season

    Once you’ve found the right person and are preparing for forever, you’ll need a new set of skills and time to refocus on your ultimate goal.

  • 7. Resetting & Redemption

    This is the most compassionate chapter of the book. Whether you didn’t know any better before or knew what you were doing and did it anyway, we all need some forgiveness and to clean up and reset. Here are practical steps in how to do that because it’s never too late.

  • 8. Winning

    I don’t believe physical boundaries are something to struggle through. I believe they set you up for success and build your relationship in an incredible way. I want to see you win and bless you with wisdom and grace to do so. 

GET THE BOOK →

“Don’t give up what you want most
for what you think you want now.”

Hear what others are saying…

How Far is Too Far will answer your questions but will also offer new ones you haven’t considered, then it will kindly ask you to step in front of the mirror in a moment of self examination to ask yourself who God is currently shaping you to be. Don’t sit back, sit on the edge of your seat and prepare to engage with this material that has been handcrafted to lead a generation into purity through the quiet strong wisdom Abram has to offer to you and anyone willing to listen.

Christian M.

I’ve read a lot of books on dating, and I’ve never run into one that captures both the heart and practical side of walking it out like this book does. What I love most is that Abram does not tell you to do a single thing that he hasn’t practiced in his own life. If you want to go beyond the “rules” and get a vision for the relationship and marriage you want to build, this is your book.

Andrea A.

Most of us know that “How far is too far?” is the wrong question, but if you’ve been asking it, this book is for you. In it, Abram will help you replace that question with a far better one: “What do I really want? And how can I get it?” Rejecting the competing lies of legalism and self-indulgence, Abram instead presents a purpose-driven purity: one where a multitude of “no”s all fall in line behind a single, resounding “yes.”

Ben B.

"How Far Is Too Far?" is a refreshingly honest and practical guide to navigating physical boundaries in dating with wisdom, faith, and intentionality. Abram Goff masterfully blends biblical truth, scientific insight, and real-life experience to help readers understand not just where to draw the line, but why it matters. With a relatable tone and actionable steps, this book equips singles and couples alike to build relationships rooted in trust, integrity, and long-term vision. Whether you’re starting fresh or seeking to reset your approach, this book offers clarity, encouragement, and a roadmap to healthy, God-honoring intimacy.

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About Abram

Abram is passionate about helping people have successful, connected relationships and resolving the roadblocks that stop us from having them. While dating and eventually pursuing and winning his now wife, he had to find actual helpful tools to navigate a sex drive, a strong attraction, and a desire to honor God. This book is the breadcrumb trail he left and has since revisited to help many others navigate physical boundaries.

Find Out "How Far is Too Far?"

Find Out "How Far is Too Far?"

Ready to shift the way you think and start building the relationship you ultimately want?

That our relationships feel full of peace and developing trust not anxiety. It’s time we stop listening to the movies on how to get the kind of relationship we want. It’s time that more people look back in your marriage with a sigh of thankfulness and not regret.

FAQ

  • Most of the time, we think this is a quick, short answer - but I’d like to challenge you to understand what’s actually happening in your relationship and then make a plan to build it well. There’s no extra fluff in here, just practical tools to understand and then build your relationship well.

  • Yes, I love Jesus deeply and this book came out of my journey to navigate dating while honoring God.

    That being said, even if you’re not a Christian, I still pull in relationship wisdom, neurological science, and secular research to build this path.

  • No problem. If you’re in, or want to be in a dating relationship, this book will help you understand what’s going on inside of you and how to build your relationship on pace. I come at it from a Christian perspective, but even if you have a different moral background, it’s still important to pace your relationship and know how to do that well.

  • Most of the time, as I’ve shared this message it’s been with 20 and 30' somethings. It’s for anyone in or re-entering into a relationship. I’d recommend it for someone as young as 14 and as old as 84.